You're beside me, alseep I think, at that in between stage of quietness and deep breathing that soon follows. Your arm twitches a little and slowly you begin to make "cute sleeping noises" as you'd call them. It's ANZAC day. Today I "feel" more than a remember. I think of the wives and families of the past, present and future. Of the suffering and heartbreak first and then of course the happiness. I think of your face, dirty with a mixture of dust, cam paint and home sickness. You have that look on your face, what do they call it, the thousand mile stare, and I'm so grateful that you are home.

In novels they write about loss, about a wife reaching across to the other side of the bed hoping to feel something, anything, a peice of a loved one. They look for warmth to indicate that you were just there, or your bodies imprint from years of sleeping. They are hoping for a smell, a reminder, something to tell them that you are real. But there is nothing there, only memories of what was and tears that saturate lonely pillows.

Last night we made amazing love. We had just finished watching a movie "the boys are back" about loss and love. I crawled in between your legs during the credits and undressed you. I felt like I needed to be close to you, a part of you. You had your wisdom teeth removed a few days ago and we couldnt kiss so instead our faces touched, our foreheads leant against each other for support. It was so beautiful and perfect that I cried.l I felt more connected to you then, at that moment, than I have in a long time.

Afterwards you were in the bathroom and I layed on the bed, tears still coming, and I felt yourside of the bed. It was cold and I could feel all of the loss and loneliness in the world. I felt so much for all the people who are separated from there loved ones, who cry and fall asleep alone, who dream of a home coming, a reuniting of two souls.

And here you are, asleep beside me with the love heart I playfully drew in the crease of your thumb and finger and I love you with every piece of me.